Vol. 12, No. 2,856W - The American Reporter - March 18, 2006

Make My Day

by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Syracuse, Indiana

SYRACU.S.E, Ind. -- How badly do you have to dislike someone that the only way to dump them is with a bomb threat? I mean, it's one thing to stand someone up for a date, but it's an entirely different matter to call an airport, not once, but seven times, and say "There's a bomb in the airport."

That's what happened to a Croatian woman in Germany, who phoned a bomb threat to the Dusseldorf International Airport. She did it to get out of a vacation with her boyfriend last September.

See, 28-year-old Marina Busbosnjac said that she didn't want to go on a vacation to Spain with her boyfriend, but she didn't know how to tell him.

She had been trying to keep her relationship a secret from her parents, and apparently being gone for several days might have given them a hint that something was up.

"I didn't know how I would be able to tell my parents about a holiday with him and I couldn't really say to him, 'Listen, my parents wouldn't approve.' I couldn't say. . . we couldn't travel," she told the Dusseldorf state court on Wednesday.

To avoid telling her parents and her boyfriend anything that might upset them, she instead phoned in seven separate bomb threats, claiming they were the work of al-Qaeda.

I don't know if the airport officials ever wondered, "Hey, there's a German-speaking woman on the phone who says she's part of a Middle East terrorist organization," but at least they took the appropriate precautions to make sure everyone was safe.

As a result, Marina's attempt at avoiding an argument shut down Germany's third busiest airport for six hours, forced the evacuation of 15,000 people, and stranded 64,000 travelers for several hours.

Let me make sure I understand this. She didn't say no when asked if she wanted to go to Spain with her secret boyfriend. She didn't lie to her parents and say she was going with a couple girlfriends. She didn't even say, "Dang it, I'm 28 years old. I'll date who I want!" Instead, she thought, "I'm going to scare the bejeezus out of tens of thousands of people, and THEN everything will be okay."

Now after receiving worldwide media attention, as well as a conviction and sentence of two years probation, I'm guessing that cat is pretty much out of the bag. But at least she didn't have to go on vacation with her boyfriend. Problem solved, right?


Unfortunately for Marina, although her flight was delayed by several hours, she was still able to take a romantic vacation with the man she was ashamed of. I'm sure that if she had been smarter she would have told the guy, "You know, with all these bomb threats, we should really cancel our plans." Then again, anyone who calls in seven bomb threats to avoid her boyfriend probably doesn't have a lot going on to begin with.

But if Marina was worried about being yelled at by her parents, that problem paled in comparison when she returned from her trip -- the police arrested her boyfriend after they traced the seven calls to his cell phone.

However, the boyfriend denied making the calls. And since police officers around the world take a very hopeful and optimistic view of human nature, his denials convinced them. So they looked at Marina as a suspect instead.

Now, not only do Marina's parents know about her boyfriend, but her boyfriend knows she's ashamed of him, and would rather commit a serious crime than go on a vacation with him. To add insult to injury, Marina faces a claim of 1.5 million Euros ($1.9 million) from the airport and the affected airlines.

Happily, I can say that none of my former girlfriends have ever gone to such lengths to break up with me. I was astute enough that it just took a subtle "I never want to see you again" in blood red paint on my car for me to realize that the relationship was probably nearing its end.

So I have to wonder if Marina's unnamed boyfriend has forgiven her, and whether the two are still together. And what about her parents? With any luck, they've come to accept Marina's boyfriend as a welcome member of the family. And one day, Marina can tell her grandchildren this story and have a good laugh.

But play it safe and keep the crazy woman away from the phone on their wedding day.

Copyright 2006 Joe Shea The American Reporter. All Rights Reserved.

Site Meter