by Constance Daley
American Reporter Correspondent
St. Simons Island, Ga.
June 10, 2008
IT'S NOT SEX, STUPID - IT'S COMMITMENT!
ST. SIMONS ISLAND, Ga. -- Many of us grew up listening to the preamble to the radio and television show, "The Shadow." A deep voice asked a question opening the show that I'll paraphrase here: Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men? Given the fact that "The Shadow," who does know what lurks therein, is a fictional character shedding no light on anything in the real world, we will have to acknowledge that no one knows what lies in the hearts of men - men being generic for mankind.
It's that preamble to a very old radio show that prompts me now to acknowledge that I have not an inkling of why some of us might find the love our life in a person of the same gender. I may not have an inkling but I am aware that here in America, at least, we are endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights, among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
How can you pursue happiness yet not allow love into the pursuit?
Read this. I found this paragraph through an Internet search into being "genetically predisposed:
"Genetic predisposition is the capacity we are born with to learn things such as language and concept of self. Powerful evidence for genetic predispositions towards certain patterns of human behavior comes from twin studies. The idea that human behavior can have a genetic basis has become controversial due to religious and politically-inspired positions with respect to common human behaviors such as homosexuality."
Although I do not personally have any knowledge that anyone among my gay friends or family is seeking the right to marry, I do question anyone's being denied the right to forge a commitment to be with another person for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until death do them part. It is a commitment! And they might choose to sincerely make that commitment to honor the relationship they have with the other person.
By the way, all you skeptics out there, love is love. It's hard to describe but no one fails to recognize it when they "fall" in love. It's sort of the way a popular song describes it: "Flash, Bam, alakazam, love came and hit me in the eye," or, as Oscar Hammerstein wrote in The King and I, as Anna described how she knew exactly what love is:
"I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,
These are universal feelings of love and are not exclusive to falling in love with someone of the opposite sex. A great majority of us might think such feelings are by divine right restricted to persons of the opposite sex.
Divine right? Although I am firmly convinced the Bible was inspired by God, I also believe it was transcribed by men. Translations differ as modern-day scribes put it into a language more easily understood by the masses. Many lines of The Good Book have been brought up to date or revised to suit the times - but no revisions that do not suit current political or religious agendas. As a society, Christian and otherwise, we have labeled homosexuality as a sin - of and by itself - a sin. Ridiculous! Breaking laws and covenants of God as preached in the precepts of their assorted churches would be sins, just as it would be a sin for a heterosexual in that church to break the same laws.
My concern is that we are denying rights to a whole part of society because of their genetic predisposition. Were they "wired wrong?" Is there something "queer" about them? What business is that to the rest of us? They still are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights and our Constitution guarantees those rights to all of us.
The following paragraph is one listed among a dozen or so generic Marriage Ceremonies listed on the Internet:
Marriage is the uniting of two people and a journey towards the unity of two hearts. It thrives on the love that you have for each other and grows deeper as each of you grow older. May you never forget this special day and may your hearts be blessed as you often reflect on it. As you journey through life together, may you learn to trust each other, laugh together and speak often to one another. May your lives together be filled with joy, whether in times of peace or chaos, trouble or good fortune.
Marriage is not about freedom for all citizens and not about procreation and raising children, it's about commitment. It's about taking on the future - together. Whatever comes their way, they will be ready for it, committed to each other through thick and thin, sickness and health, until death. That is what commitment means, that is why vows are spoken.
No civil binding of two persons giving equal legal partnership with each other has the strength of will that a commitment does. A commitment is by definition a vow.
You may say about gays, "What more to they want? they can protect each other's interests with a civic union. " Well, what they want is to express to the world that they love this person standing beside them as a loving, devoted partner; devoted to the hopes, dreams and realities of the future - not just a legal partner. This is not a real estate office or a law firm. This is a couple in love.
Will things turn sour down the road in these marriages? Perhaps. It happens in the best of marriages. I would hope not, just as I hope no marriage between man and woman dissolve under pressure. But, it happens.
Predicting the dissolution of a marriage is no reason to deny its taking place at all. That's like refusing to live because you know you're going to die! When love is blooming Mary shouldn't have to jump on Oprah's couch to shout to the world she loves Joan.