by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
January 7, 2010
HELP! HELP! I'M REALLY CHILLY!
BRADENTON, Fla., Jan. 4, 2009 -- Readers who see three YouTube videos on our front page this past week must be curious. Has The Americzan Reporter become tabloid? Is the editor out of his mind?
There is a simple explanation, and it is a news-related one. If you watch all three videos, you'll note that with just two exceptions among the dozen or so alleged UFOs that are shown in these videos, all but two - odd, triangular-shaped objects filmed over Moscow recently - are pretty much identical.
That's strange because it was not long ago that almost all video of UFOs were different, with some showing triangles, some showing cigar-shaped craft, some offering round saucer types, and among them all a wide variety of lights of various colors and behaviors, flashing on and off or steady or whatever.
Now, except for the two triangle UFOs over Moscow, all the significant videos of the past year show the same thing - lights that move in odd ways, invariably white and seemingly lit from within. A few flash a bit, but none is significantly different from any of the others except the triangles. And ironically, it's the triangles seen over Moscow earlier this month that have gotten the publicity, and which are most probably - in my humble opinion - the fakes.
I have seen lights like these, I will admit. One was over the Pacific Ocean near Santa Monica on one morning that had stretched from dark into dawn. It was just a small, white light, and proof that it wasn't a plane was abundant because it was to the south of me and planes from LAX flew by; they didn't resemble the odd white light. It was sometimes stationary, sometimes moving, and stayed about 30 minutes or so, I'd guess, until it finally shot off upward to the West and vanished.
A few months later, at night, from the Palisades where Santa Monica meets the ocean and a big X marks the spot where the Spanish explorer Balboa is said to have first seen the Pacific, I saw two of them over a period of 15 minutes or so.
But the third time I saw one of these lights was very different. I was in a part of northern Los Angeles County that remains mostly desert where there was a non-existent failed desert development called Paradise Valley. It's just a non-paradisical bend in the road and not on any maps, where there's only a an old mall with an owner-occupied bar, a small grocery store and a real estate agency. As it turned out, I spent 45 minutes or so with a couple in the real estate agency, and our conversation turned to UFOs.
I had just been invited by Don Simpson, the co-producer with Jerry Bruckheimer of Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop and other hit films of the era, to come down to Paramount and talk to one of his producers, Dylan Sellers, about investigating the possibility that the U.S. military was hiding evidence of UFOs - as documented in "Out There," a book by former New York Times reporter and National Book Award winner Howard Blum, a onetime friend of mine. I didn't get the job, which was a huge disappointment (it went to famed UFOlogist Dr. Stanton Friedman, who had a doctorate in nuclear physics I couldn't approximate).
Anyway, I told the couple at the real estate agency about that assignment, and they told me that locals there in the desert believed that there was a secret military base just north of there that worked with UFOs in some way. I had heard something similar, an old tale about there being some underground base for military UFOs up there, about 40 miles north of Los Angeles and maybe 40 or so west of Edwards AFB. There's a similar story in New Mexico, up near Los Alamos.
I left there along Hwy. 138 that goes east from near Gorman on the I-5 over to the 1-14 Antelope Freeway, on my way to the Eastern Sierra towns of Lone Pine, Bishop and Mammoth Lakes. I had not left the real estate place more than five minutes before I saw something very, very strange.
It was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon on a bright clear day. I was on a lightly traveled highway but there were several cars ahead of me and presumably some behind me. To the south, at my right, at what seemed like 100-150 feet in the air, was a white powder puff of a cloud, or so I thought, maybe 40-50 feet wide and 30 feet high. But it was moving in a straight line towards the north at a steady "automatic" pace, for lack of a better word to describe it. It was moving with volition, in other words, not like a cloud at all but just a round white powder puff and yet just as opaque as a real powder puff.
I watched it in awe. What is that? I asked myself again and again. As it moved in a straight line at the same steady pace - say about 30-40 miles per hour - it grew pretty close to the point where it was going to cross overhead as several cars ahead of me, heading east, passed under it. What were those cars going to do? I wondered. What kind of reaction will they have?
As I watched it finally get close to the power lines that bordered the south side of the road, it answered for me: It simply vanished. Just went "poof!" No noise, no lingering dust or puffery, nothing - just gone.
In recent videos on our site, both of which showed either one or two round white lights - the ones in England in darkness and then the false light of dawn - and the third video of one near Belfast, Northern Ireland, in the very early morning. Then, in the first film, which is a compilation of half a dozen videos, they are in groups of anywhere from two to eight, and also alone, over Chile and other well-populated places. But they are all round white lights, except the apparent fake triangles over Moscow.
Some videos - but none of the three we're talking about - have a perfectly plain explanation. Video in New Zealand of flying lights was apparently the result of a number of people in different towns releasing multiple Japanese lanterns for various reasons, including to commemorate someone's death and to mark a birthday, all on the same night. I've heard some fairly rational explanations for the Phoenix lights being associated with military flares, and plausible excuses for a lot of other sightings. Presidents and governors have reported them, and so, famously, did Rep. Dennis Kucinich (over Shirley MacLaine's house).
But I can't look at these three videos without wondering. They all seem the same except for time and place. Their movements don't look faked or the product of graphic tricks. They looked like what I saw three times - white lights in the night, dawn, and daylight sky. Over downtown Los Angeles one day, too, a bunch of utility workers outside City Hall pointed out up a couple of them and I saw two tiny white lights far away. I called the Los Angeles Times newsroom but couldn't even get a reporter to look out the window. I think there was something out there.
And, yes, it was on Palmdale Road east of Palmdale, on that part of Hwy. 118 that comes out of Victorville from I-15, headed back from Las Vegas, that I may have gotten some part of the answer. Coming back from a short vacation about three in the morning, I saw a big white man beside a disabled car, hitch-hiking. I stopped and gave him a ride, as I am prone to do. He was really in the middle of nowhere.
We got to talking, and it turned out that while I once been an executive speechwriter for the chairman and the president of Lockheed Corp., he had been an engineer for the Skunk Works, the top secret aviation design and testing facility Lockheed created during the Cold War. Naturally, I had to ask him about UFOs, and his reply was one I will always remember. He'd worked on some pretty unusual aircraft, I guess.
"Some of these things," he said, "if you saw them, you'd think they were UFOs."