by Walter Brasch
AR Senior Correspondent
February 4, 11
ABC-TV: OSCAR-WORTHY, BUT JOURNALISTICALLY UNSOUND
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- I've worked for other companies, and I've owned my own business. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, no matter which side you're on.
Here's a typical day in both lives.
6:25: Shower. Shave in the shower to save time. I'm going to be late.
6:50: Toast and OJ. No time for a real breakfast. I can make up for it at lunch.
7:00: Leave the house. I hate rush hour.
7:20: I've been creeping along for 15 minutes. Probably an accident upahead.
7:40: Finally got past it. A little fender bender everyone had to gawk at.
8:00: Barely made it. Check emails =97 50 since I left last night, 10 of them marked urgent.
8:55: Urgent emails answered. Your poor planning doesn't not make it my problem. Need to get work done.
9:00: Staff meeting. Everyone talks about their progress since our last meeting, two days ago.
10:00: Committee meeting. Have to sit through a third discussion about our mission statement. I suggest we don't need one, which is met with stony stares from everyone else.
11:55: Urgent press release request from my boss. Grab a burger and work through lunch.
1:30: My boss wants me to sit in for her at some department meting. I said I had to finish the press release, but she says it can wait. She has a lunch meeting that's going to run late.
2:00: Turns out my boss had all the information everyone needed. Sitting in for her helps no one.
3:00: How can anyone stretch a meeting to one hour when the main person doesn't even show up? Glad I don't work for that guy.
3:30: Press release is finally done. Boss griped about it taking so long, but she took two hours for lunch?
3:35: 60 more emails, 20 of them marked urgent. None of them are.
5:05: Walk to the car, and realize I never got my regular work done.
5:45: Not even halfway home. Cop pulled some speeder over, and everyone had to gawk. Crawled along for 25 minutes just to move three miles.
6:00: Home again. Glad the day is over. Time to forget about work, spend time with the family. Wish I owned my own business. That life must be so easy.
11:00: Bed time. Wanted to get to bed early, but stupid Criminal Minds was on.
9:00: Great thing about leaving now? No rush hour. Get to work in 25 minutes.
9:25: Check email =97 90 of them, 20 of them from clients, 10 of them urgent.
10:30: Urgent emails answered. Put out several client fires. Need to get some work done - crap, I have to write that sales proposal.
11:15: Emailed the proposal. Need to balance Quickbooks before lunch meeting with accountant - crap, I have to finish a client's web copy before lunch.
12:00: Lunch meeting isn't until 1:00. Need to balance Quickbooks - crap, I have to write that book review. Promised the publisher he'd have it today.
12:30: Still have to write a chapter for the book, write a new presentation, and edit 12 articles. Wish I didn't have that lunch meeting now. Never did balance Quickbooks. Looks like I need to pay accountant to do it.
2:30: I really need to quit having lunch meetings. They always run too long. I should have canceled and worked through lunch.
3:00: Coffee meeting with prospective client. Pack up work and I'll head home from there.
4:00: Got an email on my mobile phone. Writer flaked out on me, can't meet deadline for two articles. Needed them by tomorrow. Last time I use that guy.
4:30: Traffic was smooth. I love not driving during rush hour. Answer new emails before dinner.
6:00: Dinner time with the family.
7:00: Wife and kids are watching tv. I need to work on the book chapter.
10:00: Tuck the kids in bed. Worked enough on the chapter, but I need to write the presentation.
11:00: Need to write first draft of missed articles. Stupid flaky writers.
12:00: Have to edit those 12 articles. I really should do this during the day, I'm not at my sharpest now.
2:30: Bedtime. I wish I had a regular job so I didn't have to work so much.
AR Humor Correspondent Erik Deckers publishes other humorous articles at his Laughing Stalk blog.