Vol. 22, No. 5,514 - The American Reporter - September 7, 2016

by Erik Deckers
American Reporter Humor Writer
Indianapolis, Indiana
December 1, 2008
Make My Day

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INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. -- He's no poet, but AR Correspondent Erik Deckers has put his heart into the good fight for a Christmas free of lawyers and their fees.

Here's his latest missive aimed at the real Grinches of this world:

The city of Louisville was really quite lucky
They have the best town in all of Kentucky.
Their great city pride, and their famous horse race
Have a warm, friendly feeling, like a hearty embrace.
Then their mayor conceived an idea that he liked a lot,
But some lawyers out West, oh no - they did not!

! They tried to wreck Louisville's whole Christmas season;
You don't need to ask why - we all know the reason.
They may just be lawyers who want an upheaval
Or maybe are just to this side of evil.
But Louisville's mayor gave a reason to all:
"It appears [their] hearts are two sizes too small."

Their holiday fest had a kids' story theme -
A tasteful affair, nothing extreme.
The city was planning its holiday celebration
To give their good people a sense of elation.
"Light Up Louisville" is the annual theme,
And they'd light all the lights to make the streets gleam.

They wanted more than the same Christmas tree;
A Grinch-themed display was wanted, you see.
They wanted to use all the characters, too
Like the dog-turned-reindeer and Cindy Lou Who.
They wanted a display they'd call LouWhoVille
Until a rude letter gave them a chill.

From the West Coast law firm of DLA Piper
A cease-and-desist letter emerged like a sniper;
The woman they chose to accomplish their chore
Was a Grinch-like attorney named Barbara J. Orr.
It came without wrapping or public fanfare,
But the words on the page gave the mayor a scare.

"You must stop this poor plan," warned Barbara's letter;
"Stopping this madness is what you had better."
She said the city did not have permission
To use Dr. Seuss'es holiday composition.
"We own the rights, and you cannot use them -
We're simply afraid that you might abuse them."

The story came out from The Associated Press -
They are the ones who reported this mess:
The Visitors Bureau of Louisville
Is banned from using the name LouWhoVille!
And It made the mayor's rather upset
To be faced with a legal copyright threat.

The letter was dated November 13
And signed with a flourish by the Copyright Queen.
She said, "You have not been licensed to use Seuss' works"
But the press thought the lawyers were a big bunch of jerks.
Yet Louisville rebounded, regrouped and won -
Their "Light Up Louisville" fest would not be never undone!

The Office of Mayor said that it had complied,
But wouldn't let lawyers diminish their pride;
They came up with plans to would work in a pinch:
They got rid of the theme and booted the Grinch!
They're still lighting their lights, they're still singing their songs.
They're ringing the bells, and banging their gongs.

They'll not do it with Grinches, nor do it with Who's;
They'll leave out the roast beasts and sweet Cindy Lou's.
The Lou-villians will have their own Christmas cheer,
So the lawyers won't stop it from coming this year.
I'd hoped the lawyers would have found their own heart -
(You can make your own jokes about what they impart.)

Just like the Who's showed true Christmas cheer
Louisville's pride did not disappear.
They won't let Barbara dash their fine plan;
They'll have a good time, every woman and man.
The West Coast lawyers all said, "You can't mess with the biz"
But now Louisville knows who the real Grinch is.

AR Humor Writer Erik Deckers now publishes his humor column and other humorous articles also at his Laughing Stalk blog.

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