by Mark Scheinbaum
American Reporter Correspondent
Oct. 20, 2006
WHAT WE DON'T NEED
MIAMI -- The sparse crowd roared at the sure three-pointer, until it bobbled around the rim and popped out to the mid-court line.
It was the NBA champion Miami Heat's first home exhibition game this week in the American Airlines Arena, and our first look at the new, cost-saving, pressed-plastic Spalding NBA basketball.
If the new NBA game ball was any livelier, it would be akin to Richard Simmons, after 11 hours sleep, drinking eight cups of espresso before leading an exercise class on speed.
So we now declare, what America does not need is a new, livelier NBA basketball.
Let's run, or sort of fast-break, on the same theme:
America does not need NBC scrubbing idiot comedies and copy-cat dramas for insufferable game shows in prime-time.
America does not need a Social Security cost-of-living adjustment of just 2.3 percent when the same retirees face medical supply and drug inflation of 11 percent per year.
America does not need once-respected educator and public servant Donna Shalala, now cheerleading apologist and president of the University of Miami, explaining why she will not "jump to any conclusions" in disciplining gangsters, probationers, delinquents, and malcontents on her football team.
America does not need "Talk America" radio, in or out of bankruptcy, to advise liberal Democrats on all things at all times.
America does not need political polls that do not reveal up front who paid for the poll.
America does not need brand after brand of health-store, organic, natural, and other high-priced tropical fruit juices that are really mostly concentrated apple juice and corn syrup.
America does not need Jim Cramer on tv or radio when Martha Stewart justifiably served hard time for less crime.
America does not need a daily Wal-Mart story.
Since America never really had an entry strategy in Iraq to get in, America doesn't need an exit strategy to get out.
America does not need 65 channels of basic cable or satellite tv of which 55 channels are televangelists and infomercials.
America does not need glorified community colleges playing NCAA-ranked teams to allow them to lighten their schedule and roll up scores.
And finally, when I really think about it, America doesn't need me to tell it what it already knows it doesn't need!