Vol. 22, No. 5,514 - The American Reporter - September 7, 2016

by Patrick Osio, Jr.
American Reporter Correspondent
Los Angekles, Calif.
July 29, 2005
Official Humor

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LOS ANGELES -- What a guy! Don't you just love him? Straight talker, says what he means, means what he says. What more can Americans ask for in a President? Oh, not President Bush. I'm talking about Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.), who announced he is likely to be a candidate for president in 2008. Hey, look what he told Muslims - if you can't control your religious fanatics, we will wipe out Mecca!

What will the one billion Muslims do without their Mecca? Their anger will turn on Islamic terrorists, not us, and they will wipe them out and let the rest of the world live in peace - or so he figures.

And here all the time everyone thought Tancredo was a one-issue kind of guy, with the issue being illegal immigration. Does the wipe-out Mecca ultimatum give us a new respect for his foreign policy know-how, or what? Does he know how to fight terrorism, or what? Tom "Bomb Mecca" Tancredo has become famous even outside the United States.

Well, now that it's known he's tough as nails, and also considers Mexico an enemy of the United States, I am compelled to bring his attention to some facts, lest he declare that illegal immigration can be stopped by wiping out Mexico City:

Rep. Tancredo, the overwhelming majority of Americans are against illegal immigration - as are the overwhelming majority of illegal immigrants. That's right Mr. Tancredo even illegal immigrants are against entering America illegally. So call off the bombers and let's talk.

I will refrain from making some of my old jokes about you, which you should know only a few are original. I do regret saying that when your rhetoric hit rock-bottom, you began to dig. Well, also the remark that when you open your mouth it's only to change feet, which I confess was my reaction when hearing your "wipe out Mecca" idea. And, yes, I'm sorry for saying that when you're in Washington, Centennial, Colo., where you have your district office, is deprived of its village idiot.

And when you use demeaning words to describe Mexico's poor, who risk it all, many losing their lives, to come here in search of a better life, I did say that you set low personal standards for yourself and you've yet to achieve them.

And it was absolutely wrong of me to say that when and if your IQ reaches 50, you should sell; well, see, 50 was a correction. I actually said 40, and I also said that you had two brain cells - one lost and the other out looking for it. Well, Okay, I also said that you only need watering twice a week.

Congressman, how was I supposed to know you were such a macho man? Give me a break here: How many people in office would have thought of saying that we should wipe out Mecca? Your idea is way beyond what any presidential candidate would think, let alone say. So, since you have made it clear that you want the people of American to elect you president on the basis that you will stop illegal immigration - well, sir, Mexico City is in imminent danger under your presidency.

And I hate to say this, particularly if you haven't thought about it, but it would seem that Los Angeles is also in danger because after Mexico City it has the most Mexican citizens.

Okay, so it was an Angeleno who said that if you were a lunch special in a Mexican restaurant your plate would be short the enchiladas, taco, tamale and rice, but sir, beans, as you know, can go a long way. Oh, good golly, it was also an Anglo who said that you are like a pinata without candies.

It does seem that we got off on the wrong foot - no, not the one in your mouth, the other one - damn, there I go again.

Well, on the other hand, as long as it takes you two hours to watch 60 Minutes, and you refuse to watch 48 Hours because you can't take two days off work, there is really not much to talk about - other than what a terrible disgrace you are to the entire nation you profess to love and serve.

Patrick Osio, Jr is Editor of HispanicVista.com (www.hispanicvista.com). Contact him at Posiojr@hispanic.sdcoxmail.com.

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